"Not a flat. Not an apartment in back. Not a man's house. Not a daddy's. A house all my own. With my porch and my pillow, my pretty purple petunias. My books and my stories. My two shoes waiting beside the bed... Only a house quiet as snow, a space for myself to go, clean as paper before the poem." - "A House of My Own" from "The House on Mango Street", Sandra Cisneros
I love the space I have now with my Daniel... it is truly 'a house of my own'. But this passage is an inspiration and I think a wonderful image for every woman. Why is it that we as women wait for a man to validate our deepest personage and refrain from pursuing our passions and solidifying who we are? We see not the profound satisfaction and value in what she talks of here; rather, we wait for a man and children to complete us. Certainly a man could be our completing factor in the right timing and were he our soul mate. BUT... the timing will never be right with anyone if we do not spend the intense years and effort to find who it is we are apart from any other person, and thus, actually have a self to bring to a relationship rather than trying to find a self in and from one.
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Hey Gin
Just taking a peek at your site. I really liked that book. I read it when I was going to college. I hear what you are saying about finding identity in others, but do not find it distinct to women. I find that all of us, male and female, must take that journey of self-discovery in order to begin to have something to bring to another person. And of course, we cannot expect ourselves to have completed this journey before embarking on the relational one. In fact, the journey of relationship often helps us discover more of who we are as individuals. Thanks for expressing, and for allowing me to express in turn. I love you!
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