Revolutionary Road

"Revolutionary Road", the film and especially the book, are haunting me. I've been awake into the night unable to put the book down. Richard Yates is a writer with a direct voice that penetrates bulls--t. The concept of the story could sound "done" yet he expresses it as fresh and unique. A tragic, depressing ending to be sure, but that's not what I come away with.

I am struck by the image of the few turning points in life when we have the chance to do something different, to not "settle" or take a safe, expected route. Not because one path versus another in and of itself is the answer but because to not make the most alive choice in any given moment is to slowly lose pieces of our truest self, of our childhood dreams that signal more about who we really are than all our adult goals and "have-to's". I think the little daily compromises are what lead to the bigger ones. Some we have to make, but they do add up over time, until we've lost so much of our true self, we cannot find it again... or it takes years of work to get back.

To stay awake and alive requires constant work and effort. Being my life's goal and mission to do just that for myself, and thus for others, I know full well it's an ongoing struggle. But what haunts in this simple story is the cost for not doing it. Not necessarily meaning the dramatized ending, but the cost to our souls. No matter the difficulties, when I am alive, even in sadness or pain, I am ultimately happy. I feel ecstasy and agony down to my fingertips, pulsing through my veins. The gift of life created in me, gives me the freedom to, in turn, create.

May I never take it for granted, settle or walk the expected path just because it is the expected path. May I fight for what is real, even when it hurts. To commit, as I have in many areas, to the reality of daily life and relationships, yes. But never to stop reaching for what my soul cries out for, what makes me come alive (as both Dan and I are committed to). To look for beauty and make it a part of my life no matter the routine. To make time to listen to the inner, deeper urgings, which I believe, come from the Creator. And, most of all, to say "yes" to them.

Currently listening: Dear Science - TV on the Radio