day in sonoma

Every time Dan and I explore together, I find new beauties in this spectacular area I call home... new treasures we both get excited about, expanding our pleasure by sharing it (geeky or not).

After a French brunch at Sausalito's new Le Garage (dig that French Toast with homemade creme fraiche), we drove North to some wineries near Sebastopol, before ending up at the also brand new (had to hit 'em up, you know) Hopmonk Tavern, a beer garden and hofbrau that wasn't as kitschy as we'd have liked but more industrial and modern. Still, lots of beers on tap (made Dannee happy) and a kick ass plate of German-style sausages, grilled onions, cabbage, potatoes and an unforgettable creamy mustard sauce (made me happy).

Sitting at the bar, we ended up getting into a long conversation with the man next to us, a well known chef in the area whose restaurant was Zagat-rated, and certainly known by me. He was as cool as could be and excited about our love of food, drink and travel and about my food writing. He tipped us off to a massive vintage clothing store nearby where he's opening a French cafe (unusual), so we visited that after a great talk with him.

The next step was Matanzas Creek Winery which we didn't taste at but was a magical discovery with it's lush, purple lavender field. California quail were cooing, dashing through the lavender bushes, providing childlike entertainment for my bird lover husband and making the backdrop even more enchanting for photos and lingering.

Driving through Glen Ellen that afternoon, we stumbled on Jack London Village, in one light, a plain, old Wine Country shopping mall. But for us, food discoveries awaited. A cheese tasting chamber!? Bright, fresh lemon olive oil. Exquisite chocolates at the blandly named Wine Country Chocolates (nothin' bland about the PB&J, Elvis - PB&Banana, of course! - and Cinnamon w/ Clover Honey truffles! I am dreaming of more!) Bluegrass Bar & Grill - a delightful old mill converted to a restaurant with a fabulous outdoor patio over a stream, modern cowboy decor and most of all, amazing beef brisket!

The evening ended with a walk around downtown Sonoma's idyllic square, checking out menus, walking each alley, peeking in windows and basking in the glow of that pre-twilight hour.
Currently watching : God Grew Tired of Us (Documentary)

Favorite May Moments

1. Roaming North Beach and the Wharf with Dan for hours (after 4B coffee in the alley, fondue at Melt, reading, writing, roaming the docks by the old ships)
2. Chicago Speakeasy Ball w/ 10 friends... & dancing with my Dannee
3. Bette Davis movies at the Stanford Theatre with Jus & Amanda
4. Challenged to wake up to what's going on around us at Pilgrim's Place
6. Rousing talk over flights of wine with Karen at Cav
7. Exploring Sausalito and other parts of Marin alone on a gloriously beautiful Tuesday
8. Real talk over family style pasta at Caffe Sport with A&A
9. Bourbon & Branch, then Indian food, w/ Ben & Corie
10. Seeing Kenny Barron for free at Yoshi's w/ Dan (and R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe sitting at the table next to us!)
11. Sex & the City nite w/ girls (dressing up, cocktails, crowds, and, yes, female bonding)
Currently listening : Feel Good Ghosts (Tea-Partying Through Tornadoes) - Cloud Cult

street corner "preachers" in palo alto

Standing on the street corners in downtown Palo Alto, college town and yuppieville, these young guys - and one middle-aged (their pastor or campus leader who told them this is the 'bold' thing to do?) - stood with their "turn or burn" t-shirts, shouting about the need for repentance, especially for gays, as the wrath of God is coming. They were attractive, normal-looking, clean cut, OC-type white guys.

We walked into the Stanford Theatre annoyed at their presentation - so far from the person and message of Christ, I don't even know where to begin. But it was worse when we exited the theater, two films and four hours later. They were still there (gotta commend them for dedication!) on the same corner. This time in a literal shouting match, face to face, with a Latino man who clearly was as disturbed by their "street preaching" as we were. Poor man. Wish we could have talked to him and told him not to be angry at God for their ignorance.

This time, I was ill. Embarrassed. Upset. And sad. Somewhere, Christ is crying at the absence of love.
Currently watching : For The Bible Tells Me So (Documentary)

contentment

Reading, celebrating, existing, reaching, waiting, moving, staying, loving... my days and life are so good right now I feel unworthy. I have time. I am living. I want so much more. And I have the so much more I want. Contentment paired with striving, pursuing ever more dreams... where is the balance of the two?

From "Free Food for Millionaires" by Min Jin Lee
"'You must choose yourself over the group [says Charles, the musician]... He was angry with his family, with the immigrant communities in New York, even the artists he knew who weren't Korean who kept on wanting to compromise. An artist, a real artist, couldn't do that. An artist could not necessarily have the things other people had - a happy marriage, children, a quiet home life, a retirement account, even mental health. These were the things that following convention might give you... Both of his wives had wanted children, but he had told them no, for these very reasons. Charles had no intention of giving up his art to make room for a steady job or crying babies, because to him, a life without music was insupportable. Without it, he would have certainly put the gun in his mouth." (p. 332)

[Casey's sister, who she's not always close to, tells her]: "'... you're a true person. You are your own. That's important." Tina's voice was assured. All her life, she had wanted to make decisions not informed by others' needs, wants, and expectations. "No one is like you... In the end, that matters most, I think. And being truthful.'" (p. 478)
Currently reading : The Metamorphosis, In The Penal Colony, and Other Stories - Franz Kafka

Favorite April Moments

1. East Bay exploring with The Hus on a hot day (breakfast at Brown Sugar Kitchen, sewing shops, drinks at Bing Crosby's, BBQ on the porch of Bo's)
2. Bette Davis movies at the Stanford Theatre with Jus & Dan after New Orleans' Nola
3. A beautiful, warm Friday with Manka (Daimaru for lunch, Cafe XO to write and read, Helmand for dinner, then Le Club & walking shimmering Russian Hill with Anna)
4. A rooftop discussion of literature, faith and life with Manka, Jus & Dan atop our roof, under the stars, with a sparkling red and cigars
5. A rich group heart-to-heart discussion at Pilgrim's Place
6. An unexpected few days with dearest kindred Anita (Japanese gardens, tea, tea, flowers, roses, Arboretum, Anita flowers, wearing red, naps in the grass, driving the winding roads of the Russian River Valley, prayer on the water of Sausalito at sunset... running the shore)
7. Tashee's riotous 40th birthday party singing, her joy at engagement to Sax; sitting in Alive's magical, heated patio under the lights and stars with her
8. Immersing myself in the food world with dinners and parties with my editor, for "Feast", at the Taste of Asia event, meeting my favorite local food writers
9. With Amanda: late night car talk of trust & love, then another night of long, sunset Crissy Field beach walk
10. After SF BeerFest, another warm, radiant night, sitting on the water looking out at Golden Gate Bridge, up at the shimmering stars, lights of boats on the water, of Alcatraz, gentle lapping of the waves... in silence, talk and tears of thankfulness... a talk of profound effect with my Dan
Current Reading : There Is a God: How the World’s Most Notorious Atheist Changed His Mind - Antony Flew

Reading Walter Wink

From Wink's, "The Human Being: Jesus and the Enigma of the Son of Man":
p. 30 - "Jesus incarnated God in his own person to show all of us how to incarnate God. And to incarnate God is what it means to be fully human."
p. 89 - "'We will have to give account on the judgment day of every good thing which we refused to enjoy when we might have done so'."
p. 95 - "Does Jesus serve in order to find life, or does he serve because he has found life? Is serving a way to life, or is service the overflow from having discovered life? Christians have too often performed acts of service in order to 'earn' eternal life... Jesus served not in order to get somewhere but because he had gotten somewhere... You serve out of joy, not obligation. Service is not the way, but a consequence of having found the way."
p. 104 - "... Jesus hammered out the first consistent critique of domination that we know of since the world began... Jesus was setting captives free, and the captors were not pleased. Thus his death was consistent with his life. He shows us not just the liberating God, but the consequences of following such a God in a world organized for exploitation and greed: ' If they want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me' (Mark 8:34)."
Currently watching : When the Levees Broke - A Requiem In Four Acts (Documentary)

Favorite March Moments

1. Dan & I getting better at Regency Dancing (especially the dance from "Emma") at the Pride and Prejudice Ball with friends, in a Regency Dress my Mama made for me
2. Bells, incense and truths spoken from the gut at St. Gregory's of Nyssa with Manka & Anna
3. Afternoon nap on the cliffs overlooking the ocean with my Dan
4. Celebrating Jus & Jason's engagement at Bourbon and Branch
5. Enveloped by Taize, overcome with tears and vision, with my M, A & A
6. Gin & tonics on Scott & Louise's deck on a warm Sunday afternoon
7. Paula West singing gospel & Bob Dylan at the Hotel Nikko (with Dannee)
8. Amanda's brilliant birthday weekend at the Cayucos Beach House - all together for food, drink, bonfires, beach walks, much laughter, joy
9. Crowded beers & the best pizza at Little Star with David & Amanda
10. A fabulous weekend of food, wine, film, fashion, farmer's market, oysters, heart-to-heart outpourings and long walks with my Jessi... let us not forget Bong Su with her & Yvonne! A night of sensual pleasures...
Currently reading : Soul Graffiti: Making a Life in the Way of Jesus - Mark Scandrette

Reading while ill

Being very sick this month for a few days gave me the chance to plow through a few classics. An enjoyable distraction in the midst of high fevers. Here are some passages I liked:

From "Brideshead Revisited" - Evelyn Waugh
"The languor of Youth - how unique and quintessential it is! How quickly, how irrecoverably, lost! How quickly, how irrecoverably, lost! The zest, the generous affections, the illusions, the despair, all the traditional attributes of Youth - all save this - come and go with us through life; again and again in the riper years we experience, under a new stimulus, what we thought had been finally left behind, the authentic impulse to action, the renewal of power and its concentration on a new object; again and again a new truth is re-rearranged. These things are a part of life itself; but languor - the relaxation of yet unwearied sinews, the mind sequestered and self-regarding, the sun standing still in the heavens and the earth throbbing to our own pulse - that belongs to Youth alone and dies with it."

From "The Portrait of A Lady" - Henry James:
"Most women did with themselves nothing at all; they waited, in attitudes more or less gracefully passive, for a man to come that way and furnish them with a destiny. Isabel's originality was that she gave one an impression of having intentions of her own." (Chapter 7)

"Don't ask yourself so much whether this or that is good for you. Don't question your conscience so much... Keep it for great occasions. Don't try so much to form your character - it's like trying to pull open a tight, tender young rose. Live as you like best, and your character will take care of itself. Most things are good for you: the exceptions are very rare, and a comfortable income's not one of them." (Chapter 21)

"I may not attempt to report in its fullness our young woman's response to the deep appeal to Rome, to analyse her feelings as she trod the pavement of the Forum or to number her pulsations as she crossed the threshold of Saint Peter's. It is enough to say that her impression was such as might have been expected of a person of her freshness and her eagerness. She had always been fond of history, and here was history in the stones of the street and the atoms of the sunshine." (Chapter 27) - a perfect picture of Roma!

"Her [Isabel's] old habit had been to live by enthusiasm, to fall in love with suddenly-perceived possibilities, with the idea of some new adventure. As a younger person she had been used to proceeding from one little exaltation to the other: there were scarcely any dull places between." (Chapter 40)

"[On Isabel's marriage to Osmond]: She had taken all the first steps in the purest confidence, and then she had suddenly found the infinite vista of a multiplied life to be a dark, narrow alley with a dead wall at the end. Instead of leading to the high places of happiness, from which the world would seem to lie below one, so that one could look down with a sense of exaltation and advantage, and judge and choose and pity, it led rather downward and earthward, into realms of restriction and depression where the sound of other lives, easier and freer, was heard as from above... Hadn't he all the appearance of a man living in the open air of the world, indifferent to small considerations, caring only for truth and knowledge and believing that two intelligent people ought to look for them together and, whether they found them or not, find at last some happiness in the search?" (Chapter 42)

From "The Age of Innocence" - Edith Wharton:
"... he [Archer] did not want May to have that kind of innocence, the innocence that seals the mind against imagination and the heart against experience!"
"Archer had reverted to all his old inherited ideas about marriage. It was less trouble to conform with the tradition and treat May exactly as all his friends treated their wives than to try to put into practice the theories with which his untrammeled bachelorhood had dallied. There was no use in trying to emancipate a wife who had not the dimmest notion that she was not free..."
Currently reading : The Portrait of a Lady By Henry James