Oscar Party 2009

About 20 of us... and yet more good times.





Currently reading: Fork It Over: The Intrepid Adventures of a Professional Eater - Alan Richman

Revolutionary Road

"Revolutionary Road", the film and especially the book, are haunting me. I've been awake into the night unable to put the book down. Richard Yates is a writer with a direct voice that penetrates bulls--t. The concept of the story could sound "done" yet he expresses it as fresh and unique. A tragic, depressing ending to be sure, but that's not what I come away with.

I am struck by the image of the few turning points in life when we have the chance to do something different, to not "settle" or take a safe, expected route. Not because one path versus another in and of itself is the answer but because to not make the most alive choice in any given moment is to slowly lose pieces of our truest self, of our childhood dreams that signal more about who we really are than all our adult goals and "have-to's". I think the little daily compromises are what lead to the bigger ones. Some we have to make, but they do add up over time, until we've lost so much of our true self, we cannot find it again... or it takes years of work to get back.

To stay awake and alive requires constant work and effort. Being my life's goal and mission to do just that for myself, and thus for others, I know full well it's an ongoing struggle. But what haunts in this simple story is the cost for not doing it. Not necessarily meaning the dramatized ending, but the cost to our souls. No matter the difficulties, when I am alive, even in sadness or pain, I am ultimately happy. I feel ecstasy and agony down to my fingertips, pulsing through my veins. The gift of life created in me, gives me the freedom to, in turn, create.

May I never take it for granted, settle or walk the expected path just because it is the expected path. May I fight for what is real, even when it hurts. To commit, as I have in many areas, to the reality of daily life and relationships, yes. But never to stop reaching for what my soul cries out for, what makes me come alive (as both Dan and I are committed to). To look for beauty and make it a part of my life no matter the routine. To make time to listen to the inner, deeper urgings, which I believe, come from the Creator. And, most of all, to say "yes" to them.

Currently listening: Dear Science - TV on the Radio

Berlin and Beyond Film Festival

Last night as I went for free (thank you, work!) to the opening night of the Berlin & Beyond Film Festival to see the German film, "Kirschbluten" (or "Cherry Blossoms"), I was hit with images and emotions that stay with me, especially the image of Mt. Fuji emerging from the mist. Old age, loneliness and compromise are presented along with rebirth, restoration and awakening. The film reminds that even at an older age, it's never too late to re-awaken to your dreams, to creativity and connection... but it's also about how much we miss out on until we do.

Currently reading: Insecure at Last: A Political Memoir By Eve Ensler

"Bottle Shock" screening

Last night, I was "press" for a screening of "Bottle Shock"(love those free screenings, Guardian!) I took Annelies. As always, we had a heartwarming talk about what we both love best: cities, social justice, writing, the arts, travel, food and drink... finding our call and purpose as we grow older. Apropos then to see a film about the wine industry and a "later in life" realization of huge dreams. The film is about how California (Napa) changed the wine world in the '70's when the top palates and wine names in France chose the best red and wine wines of the year in a blind tasting, certain they were French, the world leader (followed by Italy) for many centuries prior. But they chose CA wines in both categories based on taste (red from Stag's Leap, white from Chateau Montelena - one of Dan & I's favorite Napa hangouts for over 7 years), and ever since, the monopoly on world's best wines is no longer held in primarily Europe.

It's not a perfect film by any means (Alan Rickman pulls out the best performance, not surprisingly), but it's a rousing story, showing how "the establishment" can, and at some point will, be disrupted. It shows what's possible on the other side of seeming failure... and how "the new" can invigorate "the old". Makes me proud to be from this area and celebrate such rich history and influence in my daily life of food and drink.

Even better, winemakers portrayed in the film were there, as were the husband/wife producers. The most darling middle-aged couple, married 21 years, they spoke of their love for wine and film that led to the making of this indie for well under $10 million. Their obvious passion for the subject was invigorating, as was their team approach to pursuing their dreams - it made me think of my Daniel with fond hope for a future where we continue to dream, create and actualize together. Never too old for something new.

Currently listening : Sam Cooke - Greatest Hits

Favorite Films of 2007... and while I'm at it, 2006

There are still a couple big ones I need to see (e.g. "Diving Bell & the Butterfly" & "Atonement"), but based on what I've seen thus far, here are are my Top Ten Films for 2007, in a general, not exact, order (despite being a huge Coen Bros. fan for years, I did not love "No Country for Old Men"):

1. Once (simple, sweet, sublime... can't stop listening to that soundtrack)
2. Amazing Grace (could be called "slightly formulaic", but at core is sincere, inspiring)
3. Away from Her (gorgeous, bittersweet... best film on aging I've seen)
4. The Kite Runner (the book is better, yes, but the film is still haunting & powerful)
5. There Will Be Blood (the ending left me empty & irritated, but what a ride meanwhile! DDLewis' best performance, which is saying a lot; P.T. Anderson, still a favorite director)
6. Paris Je'Taime (love vignettes format, ranging from nice to brilliant)
7. Darjeeling Limited (atmospheric, funny, rich - Anderson in fine form!)
8. Juno (didn't love it as much as everyone else but still found it delightful)
9. Reign Over Me (not a perfect film, but with true heart & humor)
10. Bridge to Terabithia (took me back to my childhood & made me believe again)

Because I didn't put my list out there for 2006 (though I've kept my own lists over 15 years), and as it was a good film year, I'll share that, too:

1. Pan's Labyrinth (brilliant, disturbing, magical, haunting; a picture of the afterlife, death, trust & faith through allegory and the eyes of a child)
2. The Lives of Others (rarely do we see a film on former USSR, especially one this incredible) 3. Romance and Cigarettes (saw it at SF Film Festival -plus Q&A with director, John Turturro- though it didn't come out until 2007; hilarious, campy and heartfelt)
4. Little Miss Sunshine (the not-for-kids family film; overhyped but nonetheless wonderful)
5. Little Children (unique, upsetting, but what a message! Makes me weep at the end)
6. Babel (expected not to care but ended up being moved by the images and stories)
7. Science of Sleep (the ethereal Gondry goes places no one else dares)
8. The Fountain (facing death and the fight for life head on; it's draining but worthwhile)
9. The Painted Veil (lush, deep and better than I expected with fabulous performances)
10. Thank You for Smoking (clever, anti-hero kind of comedy)

Currently reading : An Illuminated Life: Belle da Costa Greene's Journey from Prejudice to Privilege By Heidi Ardizzone

Haunted

I am haunted by two artistic endeavors lately:

1. The film "Little Children". Painful, bleak and beautiful, Dan and I wept at the incredible ending. Our choices for today. Choosing now. The agonizing past, but always... the future. Compelling, it stays with me, hitting me in the last moment of the film full force... with truth.

2. The book, "Falling Man", by Don DeLillo. The most chilling account of 9/11 in subtly nuanced ways. A cathartic, mesmerizing read for me. The image of the Falling Man haunts my dreams, as the brutal, loss-of-innocence threshold I crossed on 9/11 marks my life since.

"Although the wind
blows terribly here,
the moonlight also leaks
between the roof planks
of this ruined house."
- Izumi Shikibu (Japan, 974?-1034?)

"This poem reminds that if a house is walled so tightly that it lets in no wind or rain, if a life is walled so tightly that it lets in no pain, grief, anger, or longing, it will also be closed to the entrance of what is most wanted." - Jane Hirshfield, "Nine Gates"

Currently reading : Falling Man: A Novel By Don DeLillo

a long night's journey into day

"A Long Night's Journey Into Day"... beautiful title (a reversal of the classic story of the opposite name). A stirring, painful documentary on post-apartheid South Africa and the TRC (Truth and Reconciliation Commission). Watching just four of the thousands of stories of horror and pursuit towards healing from the apartheid years was draining and challenging. The final story: a group of mothers who forgave the slaughterer of their sons - a staged death of many young men for political gain - when they weren't sure if they had it in them to even try to forgive. It was raw, and one of the most Christlike moments possible. You know when you see it in action... and it leaves you stunned.

Currently reading : Between Noon and Three: Romance, Law, and the Outrage of Grace By Robert Farrar Capon

Junebug

"Junebug": a film haunting me since I saw it a couple weeks ago. Justine and I watched it one afternoon after wandering around the Embarcadero. I wanted to see it since reading glowing reviews about first time director, Phil Morrison. It moved us so that we took Dan to see it two nights later.

It's subtle, simple, refreshingly slow. Family dynamics, misunderstanding, understanding beyond words, discovering surprising places in each other. How well it portrayed the difference in marriages between the parents and brothers... the tension of different values and lives coupled with the similarities.

Amy Adams - what a joy her performance was! Such purity of heart and intention... like a child. She broke my heart and reminded me of the depth behind a seemingly naive demeanor.

There are numerous scenes that haunt: many with Amy Adams. But also the scene at the church potluck singing "Softly and Tenderly". You could feel the collective silence in the theater as everyone was struck by this profoundly simple, deep moment.

The film captured the intense pain and longing we feel in family relationships to go beyond the invisible walls keeping us from freely loving each other, with tender abandon; without all the wounds we've inflicted on one another...